Tonight is the last evening of my summer. A new season begins in the morning. I'm feeling particularly wistful about it because my husband caught a ride with our good friends back to our hometown for the week to speak about his research, and I'm all alone. I would have been crippled if this had been my first-day-of-school scenario last year, but here I am now, with only a few tears shed and a heart full of hope.
I've been in school now for a year and a half. I'm starting my 4th semester, which I'm hoping will be a fairly low-key one. I need to apply to transfer to UCSC this semester. I have several personal projects to juggle as well. I have a job which needs more from me than I want to give. I have a husband who I love. A heart that wants children (or at very least a pet to cuddle). A body that does not want to sit in front of a computer for more than an hour at a time, that wants to be outside more than in. But I find myself indoors most of the day.
I dream of a home on a little bit of land in Butte County, hot summers and wet, cold winters. A horse and a pony. Dogs, cats, chickens. A little garden. A house full of love and laughter, of creative messes and mending hearts. I dream of family gatherings and no more long road trips home for the holidays across the brown valley of California. I dream of a studio space, shared with other artists, on top of a workshop and gallery, nestled on the outskirts of downtown Chico. I dream of a future full of heartache, which means full of love, of laughter and of tears. I don't want a whole lot; I just want to be home.
I've been in school now for a year and a half. I'm starting my 4th semester, which I'm hoping will be a fairly low-key one. I need to apply to transfer to UCSC this semester. I have several personal projects to juggle as well. I have a job which needs more from me than I want to give. I have a husband who I love. A heart that wants children (or at very least a pet to cuddle). A body that does not want to sit in front of a computer for more than an hour at a time, that wants to be outside more than in. But I find myself indoors most of the day.
I dream of a home on a little bit of land in Butte County, hot summers and wet, cold winters. A horse and a pony. Dogs, cats, chickens. A little garden. A house full of love and laughter, of creative messes and mending hearts. I dream of family gatherings and no more long road trips home for the holidays across the brown valley of California. I dream of a studio space, shared with other artists, on top of a workshop and gallery, nestled on the outskirts of downtown Chico. I dream of a future full of heartache, which means full of love, of laughter and of tears. I don't want a whole lot; I just want to be home.
♥ Ciara Kay
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